The subtle art of not giving a f - Mark Manson - (bb) - 2016

 

I'm starting to catch fire on the blog a little. Shout out Scott and Aunt Tami for the rec on this one. 

Huge assist from audio on this one. I was cooking dinner and "reading" and eating and "reading" and driving and "reading" and I could "read" more because my eyes did not get as tired. When I listen to audio I cover my eyes with my hood so I can have as much darkness as possible. The audio production on this book was probably the best I have heard so far. The accents and voice "feeling" were quite good. At one point he talks about being tired and I could hear the tiredness in his voice (the author did not read it and apparently the author never reads it at least from the audio books I have listened to so far (except for Stephen A. Smith lol) but the voice actor did a great job!)) While I am still formulating my opinion about audio vs. digital reading, (paper back reading is out and you are an idiot if you still go the library to check out hard copy books, no i'm not sorry), this book was a plus one for audio for sure.

This was a short book. He uses super funny examples throughout (such as flossing your cat's teeth). Who knows if this guy has any credentials. He has a bachelor's degree from Boston University. He once read 50 nonfiction books in 50 days. He has traveled to 55 countries. His parents were upper class and then got divorced. He had sex with one of his fans and then that fan stalked him for a long time. Does he have more life experience than me, yeah perhaps. Is he a pure academic, no. He is a super star blogger. He is only 39 and this book came out in 2016 so he was only 31 when it was published (my current age). Did he out try me? Perhaps. 

In any case, there is some sound knowledge in here, although I am not sure how to rate these self help books. Sometimes I feel the author just writes them because they need to make a living. There is a good section about "outrage porn", meaning the media perpetuates stories that will bring them more money and more views. We are all victims of this "outrage porn." He makes a good point about everyone being exceptional. He says not everyone is exceptional or will be exceptional and that it is ok to be average. I can relate to this because often I think "if I'm not the best, I am nothing" and then I become sad. This is a cultural problem for us (at least in America). He makes a good point about the frankness of the Russians. I wish the Americans told the truth. I hate all of the masked bs (especially in the office). He makes a good point about narcissism: it doesn't just mean you think you are the best, it could mean you think your problems are worse than other people's problems (which is false and narcissistic because everyone has the same problems for the most part). I never thought narcissism and people's perception of their problems could be related. Apparently if your wife does her makeup for an hour and then asks you how she looks and you honestly think she looks bad you are supposed to tell her. jajajajajajajajajajajajaajajaj. I think the author is right because as he states, honesty is the most important part of the relationship (even if she gets mad, a strong/healthy relationship is able to overcome friction/conflict). He makes a really good point about metrics and values. He says he felt like a failure because he perceived a bad relationship with his brother. This was because he was using a metric that stated since my brother does not return my messages we are not close. The underlying value was brothers are supposed to be close. I do think this is how humans see the world. I also think it is really really hard in life (I struggle with this all the time) to pick the "right" metrics and values.

This book is a bit pessimistic (just like the Jordan Peterson book, see my review and Scott's review). He mimics (not sure who was first) Jocko (see Scott's review) in the sense that he says you are responsible for everything. He mimics my brother (idk which self help book Scott Bowling took this from) in saying that when you are lost just do something, like anything, and this will create motivation for you. There are some commonalities among these self help books (why Scott and I read so many self help books, I am not sure. I think it is because we are so desperate to improve lol).

There is a lot to digest in this book. I probably should read it again already even though I just finished. I think it is worth reading due to some new and perhaps contrarian self help wisdom. The real life historical examples are also quite good. The one about the Beatles is sad. The one about Dave Mustaine is funny. The one about the Japanese military officer and the search to find him is both sad and funny. page it!! but it's not the best book ever! 

peace!!